Pandora's Peach (Pandora Anas persica)
Unintended combination of a flock of Mallard Ducks (Anas platyrhynchos) and a grove of Georgia peach (Prunus persica) trees.
Unexpected and unintended things are happening, and we want to know “Who let the ducks out?” GM contamination scandals involving pollen, seeds, and food ingredients are being found in places where they should not. Mexican corn has been contaminated with GM corn imported from the US, Brazilian soya is contaminated with Roundup Ready soya from neighboring Argentina and Canada’s organic canola crop is contaminated with GM canola. A flood of lawsuits and compensation claims and counter-claims filed by farmers and corporations has become the norm and a vast body of science provides evidence that the contamination through pollen flow from GE crops or the accidental movement of GE seeds is inevitable. Like a Pandora’s Box filled with noisy ducks, once opened, the impossibility of 'coexistence' raises serious questions.
Rockin Boppin (Vehiculus boppi)
The basic laws of genetics were developed from studying plants. Gregor Mendel, the father of modern genetics crossbred pea plants in the mid 1800s to establish many of the rules of heredity. PlantBot Genetics moves science forward in developing genes allowing plants to rock in the presence of any migratory bird such as robins and other birds that feed off insect pests. The Rockin Boppin PlantBot also spread seeds through quivering and tweet-tweedilly-tweeting in the presence of buzzards and orioles to promote genetic success.
Chick O'Loft
THE HAPPY CHICKWEED
PlantBot that combines the chemical properties of Zoloft with Common Chickweed or Stellaria media. Chickweed is an annual herb widely used for medicinal purposes. The plant is extremely widespread and easily found in temperate on through arctic zones, possibly from seeds carried on the clothes and shoes of explorers. PlantBot Genetics is using Chickweed as a robust base in combination with the anti-depressant chemical compounds found in Zoloft. We are hopeful the resulting Chick O’loft Plant will be the cure for an increasingly stressed out world. For those suffering depression, simply locate this new hybrid growing in empty fields, abandoned lots, even cracks in the sidewalk, and eat its flowers to alter your mood and sing along. One of the side effects of this Chick O’loft is its diuretic effect that quickly made it a cure for obesity. Secondary side effects were those who lost weight by using this product quickly grew copious amounts of hair on their extremities and forget how to speak. Plantbot Genetics feels that these are minor side effects and plans are continuing to introduce this plant into the ecosystem.
Cornus Calgaryensis
CALGARY DOGWOOD
The low growing (Canadian Dwarf Cornel) provided the base to which a domestic dog of unknown origin (Canis lupus familiaris) was inserted. The result is a decorative but useful low growing shrub or groundcover that can be trained to bark at intruders and respond to voice and hand signals. The Cornus Calgaryensis can serve as a wonderful companion plant for the garden that will discourage harmful pests without losing beneficial allies.
Myosotis Lagomorphia
FORGET-ME-HOP
Prefers moist environments and are native to wetlands and riverbanks fields from which they have escaped. These modified plants can tolerate partial sun and shade and are perennials engineered from the myosotis genius of flowering plants and rabbit genes in the south side of Chicago. We believe that DNA from Eduardo Kac’s rabbit Alba was introduced to the sounds of urban rap music through an open window in his Chicago studio. PlantBot Genetics utilized Alba’s DNA to create a plant that can be grown in domestic gardens. Special care should be taken to not water Forget-Me-Hop with gin and juice as its mind will only be only on the money, and money will only be on its mind.
Reproba Diligo
FALSE LOVE GRASS
All that is glitters is not gold and this curious plant is one to be wary of. Setting seed year round, False Love Grass or Reproba diligo wanders about spreading freely without inhibition or hesitation. The slightest breeze causes Reproba diligo to release seeds as well as adoring songs and dancing leading to empty promises and entanglement. The plant feeds upon other flora and fauna through the sticky sap that coats the underside of each leaf and flower. This invasive plant of unknown origins is not only causing endemic species great distress and many cats and small dogs have been lost to false love grass as well. Several areas in the Southeast are now under quarantine…updates to follow shortly.
Bacon Birch
Commonly known as Porklog, this species of Birch, like all Birch trees, is characteristically marked with long, horizontal lenticels, and often separates into thin, papery plates. It is resistant to decay, due to the resinous oil it contains. The Bacon Birch capitalizes on this oil in naturally occurring stands by introducing genetic material from the
domestic pig (Sus scrofa domesticus). Geneticist Alfred P Maypole's aim was to create a diversion for his 3 year old daughter while he stacked wood for the winter. When burning, the strong scent of bacon emits, furniture made from the Bacon Birch also carries this smell although it is subtle.